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Song Du Jour: When I was growing up, there were times when I wished that I had more siblings. I was the middle child, and I often felt as though I was left out of certain things because I wasn't the oldest or the youngest. I was just the boring middle child. I remember times when I would sit in my room and lament over the fact that there were no other "middle" siblings like myself. There were actually four of us. There was one that came in between my brother and me, but that one died early. I never got to know that sibling, but when I wasn't getting along with my brother or sister, it was that one sibling, the other "middle" one who although I never met, was the one that I missed.
There is just something about a brother or a sister, something that I cannot explain, but there is something about a sibling, a love and a bond, that somehow no other form of relationship could ever replace. Siblings, especially those that grow up with you, are like alternate versions of yourself. They carry the same blood and genes as you, and usually, they grow up similarly to how you grew up. In that regard, there is already the bond of similar experiences. And I don't know about anyone else, but for me, there is nothing more comforting and soothing than to be able to discuss private matters about your family that only a sibling with similar experiences could understand.
And so I come to the reason why I've been thinking about this lately: I've been thinking about G and how she is a single child. She will grow up without a sibling to care for her, laugh with her, play with her, and be with her. I'm not really in a position or situation to give her a sibling, and even if I were, I'm not sure that I would really want to do so. I'm 38, and even if I were to get pregnant today, I would be nearing 40 by the time I would deliver another baby. Although women are having babies later in life these days, I just don't think I want to risk anything. But then I think about how she would miss out on what I had: a happy childhood surrounded by my brother and sister. I want that for her - for her to have another version of herself - as I did with my siblings.
There is just something about a brother or a sister, something that I cannot explain, but there is something about a sibling, a love and a bond, that somehow no other form of relationship could ever replace. Siblings, especially those that grow up with you, are like alternate versions of yourself. They carry the same blood and genes as you, and usually, they grow up similarly to how you grew up. In that regard, there is already the bond of similar experiences. And I don't know about anyone else, but for me, there is nothing more comforting and soothing than to be able to discuss private matters about your family that only a sibling with similar experiences could understand.
And so I come to the reason why I've been thinking about this lately: I've been thinking about G and how she is a single child. She will grow up without a sibling to care for her, laugh with her, play with her, and be with her. I'm not really in a position or situation to give her a sibling, and even if I were, I'm not sure that I would really want to do so. I'm 38, and even if I were to get pregnant today, I would be nearing 40 by the time I would deliver another baby. Although women are having babies later in life these days, I just don't think I want to risk anything. But then I think about how she would miss out on what I had: a happy childhood surrounded by my brother and sister. I want that for her - for her to have another version of herself - as I did with my siblings.
"I, who have no sisters or brothers, look with some degree of innocent envy on those who may be said to be born to friends." ~ James Boswell
"Our brothers and sisters are there with us from the dawn of our personal stories to the inevitable dusk." ~ Susan Scarf Merrell
"A sibling may be the keeper of one's identity, the only person with the keys to one's unfettered, more fundamental self." ~ Marian Sandmaier
3 Grinds:
Of course we want our kids to experience what has been to us happy memories. It really makes us sad to know there are things out of our control that we cannot give them(or take, like in my case I have hereditary problems like hyperthyroidism).
Adopt!! =)
I say that partly in jest, but I have a feeling that that's the path I'm going to have to take one day. whether it's b/c I can't physically have babies or b/c of the impending demise of my marriage w/ MH. So I've been reading into it and daydreaming about which country I would adopt from.
I also am a middle child. I probably won't have any kids of my own but I agree that growing up with 4 sisters and a brother was great. Even though we all fought during school, I do like the holidays where we all sit around together and enjoy each other's company. I know my parents do enjoy it when we are all at home. And my niece's also, who are single children, always tell us to come back home. I also feel for them that they do not have a sister or brother like I had.
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